The U.S. Mid-Amateur is apparently staging a full-on assault on the human anatomy this year. Take Matt Hutchins, for instance, who’s navigating the Lido Course with the kind of determined waddle usually reserved for penguins fleeing a leopard seal.
Hutchins, a 29-year-old who’s spent the last six years hauling clubs around Sand Valley, decided his calf muscle had a performance art piece scheduled for the 11th green. A sudden, ambitious leap to get a better look at his ball apparently triggered a rather literal pop, suggesting his gastrocnemius had aspirations far beyond simply helping him walk.
"I could barely walk," he admitted, which, while accurate, sounds like something out of a particularly grim Victorian novel. Despite this shocking act of rebellion from his own leg, and promptly losing three of the next five holes – a slump that would make a Buddhist monk question everything – he kept going. He even accepted some impromptu “physical therapy” from a helpful spectator mid-fairway.
You can just picture it: our hero, hobbling like a wounded gazelle, getting a shoulder rub from a stranger while his opponent probably wonders if he should offer a sympathetic nod or just tap in the gimme. He eventually "limped his way in," a phrase that perfectly encapsulates the sheer indignity of the situation, to snag a 1-up victory.
This display of sheer grit, or perhaps just plain ol’ stubbornness, has propelled him into the quarterfinals. He’s set to face Mikel Martinson, and we can only cross our fingers and toes that Hutchins’ leg has decided to rejoin the team, rather than continuing its solo interpretive dance.
Funnily enough, Hutchins once declared professional golf too much of a grind and bailed. He then found himself “refreshed” and drawn back by the thrill of competition. It seems the siren song of the links, possibly mixed with a dash of masochism, is a hard habit to break. His qualifying round, a wild “psycho scorecard” featuring eagles, birdies, doubles, and a triple, was clearly just a warm-up for this latest chapter of sporting drama.